The time has begun.
When I can’t hear a thing amidst standing in the crowd, all I could hear was my own heart whimpering loudly, numb, dumbstruck, I neither wanted to react, nor respond, but just hear to my hearts cry, and need answers to my travelling questions.
Lump in my throat, tired and well verse is done with screaming, yelling. And those eyes look like dried well.
Time is running, seasons reappeared, and haven’t dealt with my own past.
My past? Or only that person? Or to be precise, the only relation that I had clung on. As that one particular memory of crevicing in the bond rushes to my brain, the fear embraces me, tears make their way, the atmosphere sling rapidly on same thoughts. And I dwell.
Didn’t I make efforts? Didn’t my voice reach him? Didn’t my heartbeats Scream for him? Didn’t my soul Crave for his love?
Wasn’t my fair skin enough for beauty?
Wasn’t I big mess?
I doubt my capabilities,
I doubt my self.
From soft silent weeps to terrible harsh yells,
Small prayers to madness with blades and fire,
Just to know, ‘WHY ME? ‘
And my mind is only occupied with all these thoughts, you they don’t let them occupy with something better, neither I let them.
All I feel is to quit, quit and just quit, quit life, quit everything that I came my way. Cause every damn thing is abiding me in those moments of life.
I can see those wings that are flattering on my back, have I got them to quit?
Lemme take them to fly in hope, those invisible wings that I have will take me in depth of life, I will live, I will survive, I will cherish memories that I had had with them. I will narrate stories that I lived. I won’t abide that comes my way, I Shall accept it and move on where I want to be, not where life would, or circumstances would want me to walk.
I will live.
I will live.
I will live with all the hope in me.
I will survive for all that I want to be.